You, your parent(s), and your kids all living under one roof? It’s more common than most people realize. In 2021 the U.S. Census Bureau reported 60 million people in the U.S. reside in these multigenerational households. A PEW Research study found adult caregiving, along with financial benefits and companionship, to be main reasons for the surging popularity of multigenerational households. Whether out of choice or necessity, there are several considerations to work through in order to make this living arrangement work for everyone.
Financial Considerations:
Mortgage payments, home repairs, taxes, utilities, insurance, and maintenance…will these expenses be shared? How? What about the cost of additions such as grab bars, railings, new floor coverings or perhaps widening doorways? Beyond the home, any cost sharing associated with things like providing transportation, household goods and groceries needs to be discussed.
While the financial advantages of sharing a home can be significant, establishing and agreeing upon any cost-sharing expectations at the beginning lays the foundation for a successful multigenerational household.
Lifestyle Considertions:
- Grandpa may be looking forward to spending lots of time with his adult daughter. However, she’s already stretched between her home-based career and the kids.
- The grandkids love making Tik Tok videos, but they tend to get pretty loud.
- Your mother-in-law doesn’t drive, and all of her doctor’s appointments will make it hard to commit to classes you want to take.
Merging two households into one also means appreciating others’ lifestyles. This includes understanding the desires and needs for private times and together times; balancing schedules; and respecting others’ beliefs and wishes.
We all prize privacy, which in the home is typically our bedrooms. Where bedrooms are located in the home is the first consideration. Do the bedrooms adjoin, sharing common walls, or are they separated, providing more privacy? Are some bedrooms on the main level and others on a different level? Grandma and Grandpa would likely prefer avoiding having to deal with stairs. One step many people take is to replace hollow-core bedroom doors with solid-core doors as a soundproofing measure.
Combining two schedules can be as easy as writing down events and appointments on a shared calendar, whether that’s paper or a digital calendar. It can be a blessing that grandma Is there to be with the children for your concert night! Similarly, scheduling her dentist appointment works much better when looking at that calendar.
As a major reason for forming multigenerational households, providing care can be a major lifestyle change. There can be a tremendous sense of joy in caring for a parent! Still, we’ve often heard from our multigenerational clients that they had underestimated the care needs of their parent(s). For more, see Unveiling the Hidden Realities of Being a Family Caregiver.
Social Considerations:
Privacy is great, but we thrive when we’re with people who want to be with us. Most places in the home – kitchen, living room, even rear porches and decks can bring us together. Home is where life happens, and memories are made. Most of our most cherished memories are times of togetherness.
Homes with two separate entertaining areas are ideal for multigenerational households. Perhaps, one of those spaces is outdoors? With separate spaces, you need not schedule your get-together around grandma having her bridge group over. Similarly, when the kids have their friends over, is there a place they can have fun where the noise isn’t disruptive?
The joys of being together can be wonderful, with each generation coming to appreciate the others more. But successful multigenerational households don’t just happen. Open and honest communication at the outset sets the stage for an environment that everyone thrives in. Then, with patience, understanding and adaptability, multigenerational households can flourish, offering a rich tapestry of experiences to everyone.
