Being a family Caregiver is often a heartfelt choice we make when our parents’ health starts to decline. It’s a way to give back for all the love and care they’ve provided throughout our lives. However, it can also bring about some unspoken challenges. Here, we shine a light on these challenges, because acknowledging them is the first step towards addressing and overcoming them.

woman tired and stressed with hand to her headAt Times You Feel Overwhelmed 

As a family Caregiver, you don’t hear it often enough, but let us say it loud and clear: Thank you for all you are doing! Still, being a family Caregiver can be demanding and take its toll on your well-being. Your life was already demanding, before adding “Caregiver” to your list of responsibilities. We have limited energy and abilities, yet we feel the pressure to “do it all” at work, for our own family, and for our loved ones who need care.

Burnout can manifest in many ways: physical fatigue, emotional stress, and mental exhaustion. This is where a Sunlight Caregiver can step in, providing you much-needed breaks so you can be at your best while ensuring your loved one is well taken care of. Remember, “Self-care is never a selfish act…. It is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others.” – Parker Palmer, founder, Center for Courage and Renewal.

Doing With vs. Doing For

Going out to lunch together…shopping…nature walks…afternoons the two of you pored over photo albums…it’s natural to miss those.

You love your mom. You would do anything for her. And you are – literally. Helping get her meals together. Changing her bedding. Vacuuming. Picking up her prescriptions. And most recently, helping her get bathed and into clean clothes.

But If “doing with” has transitioned into “doing for”, it may be time to explore the option of in-home care. A Sunlight Caregiver can help ensure your loved one’s safety and well-being, freeing you so you and your mom can recapture those magic moments which bring such joy to both of you. Even if it’s just a few hours a week, reclaim that cherished role of being a daughter or son.

Hidden costs you may not have considered

Person handing money to auto mechanicTransportation can be a hassle…and expensive

Shopping…doctor appointments…even just going out for lunch together often presents additional challenges. Whether it’s arranging for or providing those rides, it takes away from the limited amount of time you have to help. And let’s not forget the cost – from gasoline to vehicle wear and tear. The Internal Revenue Service calculates those costs at 65.5 cents per mile. And hopefully you can avoid accidents and vehicle break downs. That’s when the chaos really begins.

Supplies and equipment

While your loved one may be able to afford the specialized medical supplies and equipment they need, or at least has help with those costs through insurance and government programs, sometimes that’s not the case. You may step in to help with those costs, but what are you sacrificing? Other expenses are less obvious. During your own shopping trip you also pick up the laundry detergent and tissues your elder parent needs. There goes a few more dollars.

Specialized meals/diets/supplements

Those shopping trip costs could escalate if dietary restrictions dictate pricier options. To manage weight and protein levels, you’re now helping subsidize the cost of Ensure Max Protein. Or, you replace cheap frozen entrees with fresh, and low-sodium meals. Those sugar-free cookies? They’re almost double the price, but you’re worried about Dad’s blood sugar levels, even if he’s not. Oh, and those expensive eye vitamins? While they can strain the budget, you find it hard to put a price tag on helping preserve their eyesight!

$100 bill being cut by scissorsBeing a family Caregiver may mean taking a pay cut

It’s not uncommon for family Caregivers to experience a direct pay cut. This could involve taking time off work to provide care, declining overtime opportunities, or even losing out on a long-awaited promotion. Some of the family Caregivers we assist actually quit their jobs, or traded higher-paying positions for lower-paying ones with more flexible schedules.

As published by the National Institutes for Health, “…the demands of caregiving can negatively impact caregivers’ ability to stay in the workforce and thus jeopardize their income, job security, personal retirement savings, eventual Social Security and retirement benefits, career opportunities, and overall long-term financial well-being.”

There are more hidden realities of being a family Caregiver, both financial and non-financial. But the bottom line is this: caregiving is heroic, and your caregiving matters deeply. To give them your best, you have to be at your best. At Sunlight, our Caregivers are here to give you breaks from caring for your loved one so you can relax, recharge and rejuvenate. Knowing your loved one is being cared for is mentally freeing. Call us. With Sunlight as part of your care team, you can start to get your life back!

For additional insights we invite you to read “Need help caring for a loved one at home?”